Doula | A Day in the Life

Doula give client counter pressure

Perhaps you are considering what a day in the life of a doula might look like as you contemplate stepping into the world of birth work. Or perhaps you might want to hire a doula for your own upcoming birth and you’re wondering how a doula navigates their schedule. Whatever the case, here you are, wanting a glimpse into the mystery that is doula life. It’s an exciting adventure, and it might read a little like a Frequently Asked Questions | Doula Story Edition, so hang on tight. 

One thing that I can tell you is that a day in the life of a doula is going to look a little different for each of us as we come and go through seasons of life. A veteran doula of twenty plus years, a birth doula trainer, and co-owner at Beautiful Birth Choices in Rochester, NY, my work has ebbed and flowed.

Doula life for some might sound a little bit like a silly rendition of “Green Eggs and Ham,” by Dr. Seuss. 

Have you been a doula for a few odd years? Do you remember the certification process bringing you to tears? Did you ever think you wouldn’t make it? Or wonder why you ever did take it? Have you been a doula as a mom and wife? Has your doula-ing caused marital strife?

Were you ever pregnant while doing this gig? Perhaps breastfeeding or homeschooling a little kid? Maybe you worked another job to make ends meet? Or juggled childcare – a seemingly arduous feat? Have you ever done it on a ‘special’ day? Perhaps even, on a holiday? Have you been to not just one birth, but three? All in one day – could it be?

OH, have you been a doula when it’s storming hard? Wait, you’ve been a doula in someone’s backyard? In a car? Or in the lobby? In the tub? As a hobby? The answer is yes, it’s yes for me. I’ve been a doula for as long as I could be. For when you dig deep into this work of the heart, you’ll never ever wonder why you first did start.

Right? Sometimes it’s a crazy life!

But let’s unpack a day in the life of a doula together for a few minutes. As a birth doula and childbirth educator, my role is to walk alongside individuals and families as they journey through pregnancy and early parenthood. That road is unique for each family unit that comes through our doors, but the needs follow a pattern. Education, empowerment, and support. Key ingredients to help clients learn about themselves in this new life era, then find their communities, and ultimately to thrive in their new reality.

Somewhat parallel, in my role as a birth doula trainer, I would say that the needs of new doulas are a reflection of those in pregnancy and early parenthood. DONA International, the organization we train for, has a set of healthy requirements for training and learning. Recently trained doulas also need encouragement as they figure things out in a new role. And, there’s always a place for support as they begin to feel things out in this new passion and career. This path also equally benefits from a strong community factor and ongoing educational opportunities.

When I have the honor of marrying these two paths in my own work and business, there’s a beautiful, tangible sweet spot.

I do not wish to sustain a career path that does not have these two things intertwined. I rely on my hands-on, in-the-field work with birthers and families to inform my teaching and training with new birth professionals. And, equally so, I crave the opportunity to pair new doulas with those who can so profoundly benefit from their intuitive and informed support. 

By far, the most frequent question or stream of questions that I hear relative to both of these aspects of my work as a doula revolves around these, “What does a day in the life of a doula look like?” “How will you be able to meet my needs in the moment?” “How in the world do you meet your own needs and those of your family while you do this work?” What we do is not actually super normal. Most families feel turned upside down at the thought of one labor, one unknown timeframe, one set of hours or days that feels undefinable until it actually happens. As doulas, we live this as our reality. Sometimes, in multiplicity. 

Let me share with you a day in the life of a doula: the life of someone who eats, sleeps, and breathes life on-call while juggling small business ownership alongside the needs of self and family.

6:30 a.m. | Most mornings, I’m stirring by 6:30 and by 6:45 I’m (laying in bed still) catching up on overnight emails that may have come through from my doula team. A little before 7:00 I’m headed downstairs to greet my daughter who drops her dog off on the way to work each day. My goal is (whenever possible) to get at least a good eight hours of sleep in a night, so sometimes this timing shifts a little in either direction. Yes, I’m old now and I typically go to bed by 10 p.m., or earlier. 

7:30 a.m. | Since coffee is life, I’m usually on my second cup by 7:30. I have some quiet time, see my hubby off to work, and get two dogs settled after some playtime. Then I begin to give a second and more serious look to the work emails that have piled up overnight and I start shooting answers back. Thoughtful ones, of course, before 8 a.m. Our doula team sends group updates when one of them heads off to a birth. It’s important for us to check in and see who might need what in labor land (and sometimes I’m checking this randomly during the night). This might mean sending a word of encouragement, a suggestion for a comfort measure or labor position, a cup of coffee, or possibly back-up if they’ve been up all day and night.

Coffee mug saying Let's Doula this

Mornings are my hot spot for productivity.

8 a.m. | I’m typically in full work mode at the dining room table by 8 a.m. I tend to slide back and forth between sending emails, checking social media platforms, writing to-do lists in my paper calendar (because I still love these hard), and throwing in a load of laundry or emptying the dishwasher. I adore a good mash-up of things to start the day because it helps me feel at least a little productive on all fronts. 

On this day in particular, because I’m convinced that an 8 a.m. alarm bell goes off somewhere that says, ‘It’s acceptable to text your doula now – she’s probably up!” I get a note from a client who was due last week and is waiting on baby’s arrival. “Contractions during the night, random. Lost my mucus plug. Can send pic if you want me to? Getting a little more consistent now that I’m up and around.”

Knowing this is not their first baby, I know that we could go in either direction at this point – lickety split or pauses and curveballs.

I respond, “Awesome! I know you’ve been waiting for this and it sounds like your baby is letting you know that things are brewing! Now is a great time to get a shower, eat a whole foods kinda breakfast, hydrate, and maybe take a walk. Balance rest with motion. Do you want to plan to talk mid-morning? Unless I hear from you sooner that things are shifting quickly…” And then, a very important step, I send an email to secure a back-up instructor for the childbirth education class I’m supposed to teach at the studio that evening. Just in case. 

8:30 a.m. | I make some breakfast, usually some form of protein with a side of veggie because honestly – I don’t know what the day holds or if I’ll be eating another meal or snacking my way through on bars and oranges. Breakfast is often my best meal of the day. And, I start hydrating myself – coffee, water, coffee, water. (That’s my version, anyway.) I’m also often nudging my last remaining kid out of bed around now. We have homeschooled all five of our kids, and this last one gets away with a little extra on the soft boundaries thing.

Gotta keep things flexible.

9:30 a.m. | While I’m getting dressed, I text my hubby about the ‘possible’ change in plans for the day, check in on my parents via a quick note, give the dogs some outside time, and switch the laundry. I pause for a moment to begin a note on my phone about my client’s day so far. This way, when I’m at the birth at some point, I’ve got it started and it’s an easy reference. Taking notes is an important marker for me. It helps keep me grounded in a birth, it’s an awesome reference tool postpartum, and it’s super helpful when someone wants to tap into doula support for the next family addition. Oh, and I take a freezer meal out and put it on the counter. Just in case.

10 a.m. | Another text comes through from my client. “Everything stopped. No contractions for the past hour. Keep you posted.” So, ya know. I go about my day knowing they’ll keep me in the loop as needed. ‘Just in case’ plans stay in place – the back-up instructor, the freezer meal, the plan for a catnap mid afternoon. I move forward with my agenda by checking in with my teen to make sure they’re set for the day, and then I leave the house for a few hours to take my two adorable grandkids to library story hour. Oma day.

toddler with adult overhead view at a table during library hour

Be present where I am.

12 p.m. | When I’m back home and I have no further updates from my client, I decide that I do not want to bug them, lol. I grab the dogs and head out for a walk. Might as well keep moving while I’m moving. I turn on a podcast for a little selfcare (On Being with Krista Tippet is my fav) and we get in 1.5 – 2 miles to move our bodies and get some fresh air.

1:00 p.m. | Lunch and another podcast, usually something birth related to get me back in work mode like Body Ready Method or Birthful. I also check in with my seventeen year old to see where we’re at on all things school, soccer, and work and if any grading needs to be done. That freezer meal is still defrosting, and I’m going to use it either way. Bonus!

1:30 p.m. | Quick catnap, which I’m never good at. When I sleep, I want to sleep for hours. Cozy up. But alas, I have things to do and if I sleep too long and I don’t end up at a birth, I’ll be wide awake at 3 a.m. So, 30 mins on the couch and I’m up.

2 p.m. | Back to work. 45 minutes of purposeful planning and creating for an upcoming doula training, then I get up and moving for 15 minutes of changing cat litter and putting away laundry. 45 minutes of scheduling emails for classes and social media posts for the business, and 15 minutes of collecting mail and taking care of plants. If I don’t break up the work time, I will literally get so absorbed that I’ll stay in one spot and work for hours on end. Not a good plan for me.

By this time, I’ve hit a crossroad.

4 p.m. | Do I call off the back-up teacher and take my chances? I decide to send an encouraging text to my client, “No need to respond if you’re resting… just wanted to say that when you’re up for chatting, let’s talk about what the evening might look like and some things you can incorporate for self care and body/labor prep. You’ve got this – home stretch!” In response, I think I’ll get a good feel for where things are at and what to do about the evening class.

4:15 p.m. | Just as I’m about to pick up my phone to text this to my client… they text me. Yay! “My mom took the kids for a while and I had an awesome nap. Woke up feeling crampy and now things are kicking in. I’m timing the contractions and we’re still about 8-10 minutes apart, but this is real. I can tell because I remember these from before.” 

Keep the back-up instructor in place.

5 p.m. | Eat an early dinner. Say hello to hubby. See my kid off to soccer. Send an email to my doula back-up team to let them know that I’ll be headed to a birth soon (so they’ve got my back). I also pack my doula bag, some snacks, and chargers for all the things but especially for my hearing aids since I’ve had them in for a full day already (being single side deaf in a labor room where people wear masks and whisper is hard y’all). Then, I wait.

6:30 p.m. | “Things are picking up. Trying to get kids ready for bed but not going to make it that long. Shaky. Childcare is here.” My note back says something like, “Big hugs and pass the reigns to your people. They’ve got you. Tune into you. I’m ready when you are. Send me a text when you’re on your way and I’ll get there a few minutes ahead of you to meet you in the circle drive.”

Headed to hospital!

7:30 p.m. | I meet them in the front circle and my client’s partner wants to park the car and carry bags in, so my client and I slowly make our way to triage. She wants to walk, but everyone around us wants to get her a wheelchair. I gently lean in and say, “There’s nothing you need to answer – just close your eyes, tune everything else out, I’ll guide you there. We’ll pull over whenever you need to.”

8 p.m. | Triage. Things slow down a little here. The contractions that were 3-4 minutes apart space out a little as she gets acclimated to her new surroundings. My role is to help her feel safe, to reclaim her labor flow state. After some instructions from the nurse and a check-in with the midwife, we’re on our way to a room. The sound of the tub filling up is an encouragement, some lunges bring on contractions. We sit on the toilet backwards, known as dilation station, as we wait for the invitation to water.

9 p.m. | She is in the tub now and contractions start to take over again with increased frequency and intensity. Her eyes are closed, lights are dimmed, partner is close, music is playing, water is softly stirring around her as I pour cupfulls of warmth over the small of her back while she leans over the side of the tub. We’re in a time warp. The only thing that keeps the cadence is the rhythmic waves of birth and the nurse who listens in every half hour or so. Labor moves forward.

Then her vocalizations shift and take on a new intensity.

11:30 p.m. | Contractions lengthen and she gets shaky with each one. I see her reach for the underside of her belly and wince. Quietly she says, “He moved down that time.” “Yes,” I say, “beautiful work.” Not too long and she’s roaring through these surges and there’s a very brief withholding of her breath at the peak of each contraction. She’s feeling a pressure that wasn’t there before. It’s new and brings her a glimmer of what’s to come.

My client opens her eyes and looks at her partner, “I don’t know if I can do this. It’s so hard.” Before they can respond, another contraction begins. I take a moment to lock eyes with her partner and without words say, “This is normal. It’s where we want to go. It’s ok.” Her partner comes in closer and I keep pouring warmth over the small of her back in circles that grow with the surges.

Doula cooling mother with washcloth during water birth

“My water just broke.”

11:45 p.m. | Her head shoots up as she says this, and I gently remind her that the intensity may grow with the next contraction and let her know that I’ll call for the nurse and midwife. The team hears me say this because they’re just outside the door. The space in the room quietly holds a few more people now, people who are there to keep watch, survey, to be guides if needed.

Her contractions are full of power now as her baby moves down. She slowly and instinctively turns to her side and then lays back against the edge of the tub where her partner is now there to hold her up under her arms. They form as one unit, working together. I switch to washcloths for her face as she works hard to breathe this baby down, always with a camera phone in my pocket, ready to capture the moment. I softly whisper to her that she’ll be holding her baby soon. 

She wants pressure on her low back, so my doula ninja skills come into play here. I quickly remove my long sleeve sweatshirt and reach one arm down into the warm water to apply pressure low on her back. She’s buoyant in the water, so it’s tricky, but we figure it out. Her partner steadies her from behind. I have one arm underneath and one hand free for cool cloths on her face. 

Shortly after midnight, we begin to see the top of the baby’s head.

12:05 a.m. | Her midwife uses her voice to help guide the mother as she guides her baby. At 12:07 a.m., baby is born, blissfully uneventful while wonderfully miraculous. He is placed in his mother’s open arms while the midwife gently explains, “It was his arm. He was raising his hand as he came out.” Ahhh, we wondered. 

I snap photos, feed the family, help with breastfeeding, hold space. The room is full of a quiet kind of adrenaline and a heady dose of oxytocin. 

2 a.m. | The energy is now held in a small bubble around the family unit. They are enraptured. In love. In their own world. I step away with a plan to reach out later that day (because it’s now Thursday) and I walk to my car. Tired, but awake. Drained, but fulfilled.

2:30 a.m. | Home. I leave shoes and all top layers in the laundry room, put on the second pair of clothes that I had in my bag, and make myself my favorite meal. An amazing egg sandwich with lots of cheese and a side of avocado and tomatoes. Second breakfast. Or is it first? 

3 a.m. | I crawl into my bed and take a deep breath. Then, the single most important doula step before closing my eyes, I check to make sure the volume is on my phone – but only for my client who is due next week. Just in case. 

The landscape for what a day in the life of a doula might look is constantly changing.

Once upon a time, with five young children at home, my biggest curveball was the need for childcare. I needed to make sure that while I was away, for however long, my kids were loved, safe, cared for, educated, and nourished. My partner was a big part of that, of course, as was my mom, a few close friends, and a doula partner. I found ways to be involved, to learn and grow, to be an advocate, and it didn’t always look like direct labor support. I had to be creative, but I kept my foot in the door.

My challenges now revolve around a different set of circumstances. My youngest son’s education and soccer travel schedule and the needs of adult children (which no one adequately prepared me for – but I love it anyway) are paramount. There are the growing needs of elderly parents, issues surrounding my own health in the past two years, and time with my husband, family and grandkids. I also have a thriving brick and mortar small business to guide and promote, with over 20 birth workers and educators that whole heartedly serve our community 24/7. And, I have doula trainings to lead because we need passionate, motivated, intuitive, and informed doulas actively working and advocating in our communities.

Whatever the landscape, if doula work is your passion, we need you.

There’s no rush. Take your time. There’s no limit. Birth will continue to happen. And there’s no lack of opportunity. I promise. So take the time to understand what season you’re in. Identify your support systems. Create your team. Make a flexible plan, with back-up. But then, step into your calling with purpose. As we say in our world, it always works out. 

Julia Sittig

Julia has lived and breathed birthwork since 2004, when she discovered that learning alongside lived experience could be a powerful tool to help empower others. She is an Advanced DONA International Certified Birth Doula and Trainer, a Lamaze International Certified Childbirth Educator, a Spinning Babies Parent Educator and a Body Ready Method Pro. Julia’s primary goal in birthwork is to help individuals combine their own innate wisdom with evidence based information in order to help guide them through this incredible time in their lives. Julia is the mother of five, wife to a supportive husband, a home school educator, and an Oma to two beautiful grand babies.